Messed up post.

What have i done to deserve all these.
I hate being in this position all the time.
I'm so tired of repeating the same mistake over and over again even tho i told myself many times to NOT TRUST A SINGLE SOUL.

Maybe god is just telling me that i don't deserve any friends.
Past life i must have been betraying all my besties.
One after another time.
I am stupid to the highest degree. i know you agree as well.

Whatever man. I'm speechless.idk what to do, how to react, and HOW TO FACE IT.
Have any idea how do I feel now?
I feel like crying my heart out, and someone to hug.
But, that wouldn't happen, not even in the next 10 years.

When i use my heart to treat someone, that person will think that i have motive for being so good.
OR that person will use me for their own good. ( yeah you must be wondering what to take advantage of right? ) I also don't know but somehow there is ;) Taking me for granted.
Trust me, 90% of my friends does that to me.
Not exaggerating here.

Fucking learn how to distant or your life is so FUCKED, Emily.
I hope this will be my last reminder to myself
I'm the only naive one that think if im good to ppl & they will do the same to me.
Nights.